I’m grateful to some great friends who have been gently questioning why I haven’t written in a while. Accountability was a huge reason I created this blog, and I’m glad that it is serving its purpose!
It’s true that I’ve been busy since my last blog post. Things became extremely busy at work in the last few weeks, especially as I attempted to complete many of my end-of-month responsibilities early in order to serve as extra logistics staff for a conference we hosted on September 30 and October 1.
Truthfully, though, busyness is not the whole reason behind my hiatus. By avoiding the blog, I’ve been avoiding owning my failures.
I’m great at avoiding conflict. This is true for my relationships, at work–you name it. I will often concede just to keep the peace. By posting, I would have to own my shortcomings…
And here we are.
Honestly, I became very discouraged when I made myself horribly sick after that first run, followed by a gain at Weight Watchers a few days later. Things just kind of fell apart after that. I lost my motivation and all of the healthy patterns I began developing in the two weeks prior.
I got caught up in the same behavior last winter. I was following Weight Watchers somewhat loosely, but I was exercising regularly and I was seeing results in the mirror, if not on the scale. But when I suffered a few setbacks, I threw in the towel and three months of hard work with it.
Seeing a pattern?
“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.”
— Margaret Thatcher
And so, I am officially starting over 2 weeks from today, on October 22. I will be in southern California for another work event (followed by a little sightseeing) from October 15 to October 21, and I plan to resume my journey the day after I return. (I’ve even taken that day off to get my bearings, attend a Weight Watchers meeting, hit the gym, and stock up on healthy food!) When I return, I have a solid month at home to really form healthy routines and habits before heading to Texas on November 20 for an early Thanksgiving / birthday celebration with family.
I think the key to living healthfully is really forming those healthy routines–including consistent exercise time. I attended a “Body Stewardship” class at my church in August, which was so, so valuable, and one of the things the leader emphasized was putting routines in place to keep you structured when the motivation (inevitably) fades.
I also need to break the cycle of giving up when I slip up or things don’t go my way. I’m tired of this seemingly endless pattern of stops and starts and throwing away all that I accomplish. I am still kicking myself for giving up last winter. If I hadn’t, I llikely would have reached my goal by now. Instead, each time after I quit, I put the weight I lost back on–and then some. I’m just creating more work for myself in the end, each time I decide to give up.
It’s time to own where I am right now: preparing to start over — for the last time!
Do you get trapped in a pattern of avoidance and giving up like I do?
How do you motivate yourself to continue after a setback?